The Graveyard Shift

Yorick the Gravedigger, so yes it does have some relevance here.

What the hell is it about staying up late? It’s a habit that I can’t seem to shift. Now before someone decides to dedicate their life to finding me and wearing my colon around their ankle for asking such an inane question, hold up a sec. I’m reasonably good at rationalizing my problems, at least to the extent where I don’t just sit in a pile of my own faecal matter, scratching my head in complete ignorance. I know that a combination of studying and too much free time contributes pretty heavily. Boil that rationale down a bit further, and the truth is that without a job I don’t have any seriously pressing constraints on my sleeping habits. The 3am to 3pm shift isn’t a scheduled thing, if I feel like I need to mix that sucker up with I don’t know, let’s say a Back to the Future marathon, then hell yeah I can do just that. 

This is the point where people start shaking their head and turning off the main power switch because I could obviously do with a little bit less time welded to my computer chair. I get that, I’m sure most gamers do, but there’s something inherently addictive about videogames and the internet. For starters, videogames are developed as a means of entertainment, their sole purpose being to unashamedly engage, immerse and capture the undivided attention of their audience. The recreational and informative side of the World Wide Web attempts to do the very same, and unfortunately for my sleeping habits, neither of these mediums ever turn off. We live in an age of accessibility; technology can deliver fun, facts and food straight into my living room, assuming that I’m comfortable with letting the Pizza delivery guy through the front door. I can’t blame the medium’s, they’re doing their job perfectly. 

If I look through Geralt of Rivia’s journal I’m pretty sure I won’t find a quest titled “Keep Jim awake until he hears his flatmates getting up for work and has to sneak back into his bedroom before anyone can ask him an awkward question about bandwidth consumption” So it’s an issue of self control then? Switch off the PS3, pour the coffee down the drain and go the fuck to bed. What if it’s not that simple? Videogames have a nasty habit of engaging my brain and giving me a rush of energy far more effectively than a movie or a book ever could. You know that moment, when the words begin to blur under your nose or the couch cushion gradually starts looking more attractive than Kate Beckinsale does on-screen. Try pulling that same nodding-off bullshit mid way through defusing a bomb on CounterStrike, sound farfetched? That’s because it never happens. I’m not some sort of burlier Edward Cullen though, I don’t want to be a vampire and I sure as hell don’t sparkle in the sunlight. Existing that far outside of regular sleeping hours just feels weird, like I’m a rebel without a cause, railing against the bars of social convention by napping into the late afternoon and scaring schoolchildren with my skin-tight underwear and freshly-woken scowl.

Definitely not what I look like when I
wake up and another reason to hide
my blog from your dad...

I like people. I like my flatmates. I don’t particularly like seeing them for a measly five hours before they go to bed and leave me to my YouTube trawling lonesome. Or maybe I don’t like people. People just interrupt when you’re trying to stream Jack Conte’s new single, or they barge into your room with a platter of warm muffins, distracting you with the smell of pumpkin and chocolate and causing you to look away just long enough for the Titanite Demon to land its power attack and send you screaming back into the abyss for the umpteenth time. Most likely, I’ve just got a mild sleeping disorder. Hell, it’s not all bad. Let’s just say that poor old Mr Jiang across the street has been having serious problems with his weekend paper delivery, that being the Sunday Star Times, the one that doesn’t arrive around 5.18am every Sunday morning.